FOR THE EYES OF MR. BATTLER’S 3.5 READERS ONLY
TO: Bookshelf Q. Battler, PCM Webmaster
FROM: Delilah K. Donnelly, Lead Counsel for Bookshelf Battle and Pop Culture Mysteries
RE: New Star Trek Beyond Trailer
Good day, Mr. Battler. Paramount has released a trailer for the upcoming film, Star Trek Beyond. Featured prominently is the rap song, Sabotage off of the Beastie Boy’s 1994 album, Ill Communication.
I dare say your 3.5 readers are in an absolute dither. I’m receiving inquiries such as “Does it make sense for a 1990’s song to appear in a film set in the future?” and “How would Capt. Kirk even know about this song?”
I’m simply much too attractive to feign an interest in science fiction, Mr. Battler, so I shall leave this matter in your capable hands.
Delilah K. Donnelly, Esq.
Thank you, Delilah.
And welcome, 3.5 readers, to the very first “Pop Culture Mystery of the Week.”
Jake Dashing can’t solve them all and when he does, he usually gets longwinded and more concerned with himself than the actual answer.
So once a week I hope to take on a pop culture mystery of my own, without the hardboiled noir talk, as fun as that is.
When this site officially kicks off later this year, I’m going to hand this responsibility off to a trusted associate, a shadowy information broker who goes by the name of “Informant Zero.” Nothing could go wrong there, I’m sure.
And 3.5 readers, if you’re a writer who is into pop culture, I might even assign you a week to solve a pop culture mystery of your very own. I know. Try to contain your excitement.
First, let’s take a look at that trailer Delilah was talking about:
Star Trek Beyond – Trailer (2016) – Paramount Pictures
Ahh, the Beastie Boys. What rebels they were and Sabotage was certainly a rebel anthem. Why, even a young BQB was known to walk around playing a Beastie Boys cassette tape on his Walkman with the Sabotage part worn out.
Kids, there was a time when not every song was instantly downloadable so you had to go to a music store and buy actual, physical cassette tapes. They were these plastic rectangles with information printed onto this material wrapped around spools and…no. You know what? That’s a pop culture mystery all by itself.
Capt. Kirk is a character from the future. He’s the main star of a science fiction franchise. How the heck does he know about Sabotage? Why would he be a fan of it? Why would he play it for his crew?
Simple. 3.5 readers, let’s look at Star Wars. That series is set a universe that’s a mix of sci fi and fantasy. If Earth exists within it, it doesn’t have a place in the storyline. It’s not mentioned at all. Accordingly, it would make no sense for Luke Skywalker to dig a 1990’s rap.
Star Trek, on the other hand, is set in the 23rd Century (that’s the 2200’s for you people that don’t know your centuries) and Earth exists!
And if Earth exists, then Earth’s history exists as well. Holy Crap, I bet to a person from 1770, we 2015 people would come across as futuristic space weirdoes. They’d have no idea what to do with us.
But you know about Beethoven, don’t you? He was born in 1770 yet there are people in 2015 who know enough about his music that they can appreciate him today.
Think about the songs, books, music, and movies you enjoy today. All of this stuff that seems new and exciting will one day be looked on as classics to future people.
Beyonce? Classic artist. Kanye? Classic artist. Fifty Shades of Gray? Classic work of literature. Whodathunkit?
While the 2200’s seem far away from us (none of us will live to see them), they aren’t that far off when the totality of human existence is taken into consideration.
Space exploration is still relatively new in the Star Trek universe and what is Starfleet’s mission? To boldly go where no man has gone before. Kirk and his crew are space explorers, pushing the limits of a new frontier the way that explorers like Magellan did on our planet years ago.
What’s my point? If it’s not unusual for a classical music enthusiast to sit back and relax with some Beethoven in 2015, then it won’t be unusual when someone in the 2200’s, say the Captain of the Enterprise, for example, wants to get freaky with a Beastie Boys hit.
It makes sense that Kirk would love the Beastie Boys. They were the musical rebels of their day, as Kirk and co. are the space voyaging bad asses of theirs. Mike D, MCA, and Ad-Rock pushed the rap game to new heights, while that mischievous Kirk is always pulling an end run around his superiors in the Starfleet high command.
Hell, I hope future people will dig the stuff I enjoyed when I was growing up. You know, I envy today’s kids. They can watch new movies and there’s still a whole plethora of awesome movies from the 1980 and beyond for them to discover.
You know what my parents’ generation had to offer me when it came to movies?
Well, to be fair, they had some pretty sweet noir cinema, which inspired this blog. Although if we get into semantics, noir might really be my grandparents’ bag.
Anyway, the baby boomers had some good stuff to offer but to me, a kid who grew up in the 1980’s and 1990’s, most of that just came across as old black and white nonsense, and I’m not going to lie, a whole metric sh%t ton of it involved singing cowboys. Singing cowboys!!!
Meanwhile, flash forward to my heyday. The Rock with Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery. Face Off with Nicolas Cage and John Travolta. Terminator 2: Judgment Day.
I can take some of the best action movies of the 1990’s and make an argument that they compete with what’s out today.
I didn’t have that when I was a kid. I had my parents’ black and white singing cowboy mumbo jumbo.
That’s why I envy todays kids and that’s why I REALLY envy the people who will come along in Capt. Kirk’s day. They’re going to have so many selections to choose from when it comes to their entertainment.
It boggles the mind to think about it and not to be macabre on a lighthearted site but I get sad to think about all the future stuff I’m going to miss out on.
So kudos to you, Capt. Kirk, for your great taste in music, and more kudos to you, JJ Abrams, the first nerd in history to be at the helm of Star Trek AND Star Wars AND be able to understand why Sabotage would kick ass in Kirk’s world but confuse people in Luke’s.
I hope you enjoyed this very first Pop Culture Mystery of the week, 3.5 readers. Technically, this site doesn’t really launch until April, but I’ll do my best to get out one post like this per week regardless.
May the force be with you and live long and prosper.
Also, I can’t stand it, I know you planned it, I’mma set it straight this Watergate…
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